That moment when you want to take a nap but everything in the world is stopping you but there is no use despite the fact that you’re barely functioning because you’ve been up since 5am. and for you mothers of little ones out there saying “welcome to my life…” I don’t care, and seriously, shut up. Because I am still single and these days are still mine.
Yes. This is the inevitable dark mood of this blogger.
That moment when you barf all over the back seat of your new friends car and are more embarrassed that you had chunks in your cowl neck sweater and mixxed into your sequence skirt than the fact that her car still smells of spinach and artichoke dip. That moment when you really need a new black purse. That moment when you MUST say good bye to the $58 wallet that no one ever knew the price of until now. That moment when the last thing you needed to hear was Toby Keith. And the rain keeps falling…. PERSONAL NOTE: someday, I truly believe I will be able to hear Toby Keith and Seal…and even Ray LaMontagne without a little piece of my heart shedding a sad tear in remembrance of blissful times…
Yes. That will indeed contribute to the dark mood of a blogger. me.
So to you out there in the blogosphere world that get fed on the words and wisdom and emotion of writing… feed on this. *insert obnoxious and perhaps R-rated motion and language here.*
We’re all human. And while yes, the past few weeks and even months have been so blissful, I feel like no- I am not super woman. No I am not *always* me-the happy-go-lucky, spunky fashionista with cute, sparkly shoes and red lipstick. Sometimes I’m real with a woman mind that wanders through memories and butterflies and frustrations and fear. Sometimes, I’m in a mood… *cue today* And honestly, I like having these sometimes moods where I can just be PISSED OFF!
You know what’s so funny though? It’s that I like to laugh during said moods. I like to state the obvious in my own little blunt and rude way…like it’s going to help make me feel better about my own bad day. Though I hate bullies, I’m a little bit of one myself when the darkness seeps in..
For example:
Mom: Try not to make any noise, your dad is sleeping.
Me: Oh, how nice…. at least someone is quiet for him…. *under breath…who was NOT up at 5. and for a moment in time I forget that he’s in his 7th week of radiation at the ripe young age of 85..and it becomes all about me…
Ahhh, yes friends. I can be a real bitch. And sorry dad. I know that really wasn’t nice of me at all.. and least of all respectful. But that’s the human in me. Not only am I sassy, I’m cheeky too. And when I get mad, stay far, far away. These blunt and rude words can cut deep.
Here are some more..and then I’m done.
Friends, because yes, if your my friends, you’ll still be after reading this, do NOT, I repeat do NOT play the “‘Woe is me’ card” through your facebook and twitter updates on a regular basis, at all for that matter yes, I find I am being hypocritical at this moment…but really I dare you to go through my posts and updates. Minus this one, find one where I complain, just one. Here’s why you won’t: While yes it is inevitable that we all are hit by these dark moods, move on. Don’t get stuck there…You had a bad day…. aww so sad, so did the rest of the world, but guess what IT GOES ON. Aww, you don’t believe in love because your relationship sucks, such a pity- don’t ruin it for those who still do…. and awww….you wore blue shoes instead of black?? emmm, not a good enough reason to use *FML* …. knock it off and quit being redonkulous. You’re still blessed. and so am I. I get these moods, I do because here I am too. Sometimes we do have those FML days–but get over it and move on. GOOD NIGHT! We don’t all get our naps when we need them most, but we do get blessed when we need the blessings least. That’s called being humbled. It’s called grace. Maybe we should try reveling in it for a change…
mmkkk. I feel better now. and that inevitable human normality is finished, for now. And the dark side is now being shined upon by warm weather and a sparkling green tea lemonade from my favorite writing place….and this boy in front of me is wearing flip flops and glasses and shorts… I’m pretty sure that was a half smile we just gave each other…
I’m pretty sure I’m still blessed when I least deserve it. I’m pretty sure if I heard Toby Keith in the radio when I get back in my car, I’d scream. I’m pretty sure if I get home and the noise is still too overwhelming to find the slightest bit of solitude, I’ll turn right back around and go to a hotel. And I’m also pretty sure that in the midst of my tiny end of the world, those closest to me are at their wits end with their own darkness and apocalypses. But guess what you obnoxious facebookers and tweeters and bloggers *ahem, me* we’re still blessed. So I dare you, in the midst of your hissy fit over traffic that is brewing to stop and pass a half smile with a cute boy in flip flops. I dare you to open your sunroof and be fed by the Son. I dare you to face the inevitable return of goodness. and behold Him. Live blessed.
I’m out.
