When it’s coming apart, you had it all.
It wasn’t enough. No, it’s not enough.
They tell you it’s not worth the price, so just let it go.
But you know you can’t. You know you won’t.It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
And at times you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will haunt you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.They see the fear in your eyes, heart sinks like a stone.
‘Cause when you’re afraid, it weighs on your soul…
The first time I heard this song, I was sitting with my best friend, soul mate, on our annual vacation together. And she talked to me real and raw as I was moving into what I now refer to as my “out of body experience.” Because, some how, some way, those demons were already fighting me and everything I knew and trusted. and she was is my angel, holding me up. Her (and so many others).
And my heart having just broken was already moving into the next break, completely blinded by lust and emotion. The immortal break was begging for those angels to come and not a minute too late, just three months later than what I expected.
Shoot. I have no idea where to begin. Have I been well? No. Has there been wellness, yes. Those are just posts for other days, ones that talk depression and anxiety, and trust, and satisfaction, salvation and eternity. God with us. Us without Him.
For now though, it’s just God with me in them. And these words, my anthem: The angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
And at times you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will haunt you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up…When the timing is right, somehow you’ll know.
I’m held. And because I am……I’d like to introduce you to Nicole Marie Lewis.
Ms. Lewis began her career as Beholder and Impact on January 1, 2015. Having survived self harm through severe depression and anxiety, she was reborn with fullness and understanding of purity in our hearts. She believes. Ms. Lewis holds body and faith as a great vessel and treasure for Jesus, the Savior and Redeemer. And 2015 is hers.
Ms. Lewis eats a paleo diet for every day of 2015. And Ms. Lewis runs fueling a fire that guides her home. She runs with perseverance both the earthly and eternal races set before her. And she encourages.
And her heart though broken and rebroken has been both built and rebuilt for this moment to tell you about her book, a book that will be released the summer of 2015. Yes this is Ms. Lewis.
In 126 days she will stand before 150 people witnessing Love divine.
In 134 days she will stand before hundreds of others walking across to the other side of what has been the hardest journey (to date) of her life.
And this is Ms. Nicole Marie Lewis who has already begun that journey back to independence. She bought a brand new car, a 2015 Mazda CX-5, and it’s white, like a pure fresh start. And she’s scoping out apartments and new furniture. But more importantly, she’s smiling. She’s scared. Hopeful. Anew. Refreshed. and once again, in Love with the One most worthy of her heart.
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Happy New Year my great friends and followers. It’s been three months since I last wrote to you. Three months full of restoration and the most beautiful me being rebuilt, reborn as Nicole Marie Lewis.
Yes, that’s new, but so are many other things in 2015. Like that fact that in two weeks I will begin the final internship of my grad school days. (Honestly, that’s why Nicole Marie “Lewis” has been birthed, and why “nicolebeholds.com” found a need to make it’s grand appearance. Because THIS “Nicole Marie” isn’t going anywhere, as the other parts of her are still running.
And there’s no need to give this post more purpose or reason. Just an introduction to the 2015 Nicole Marie….Lewis. Who is His. Again. Forever.
I’ll see you soon with love,
Nicole marie Lewis
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