When the last post I write is an unhappy, moody, sassy one, I hate that it stays at the top of my page until the next one comes along. They only thing I hate more than that is waiting for the next words to be written out of purpose. I can’t think of a better purpose than this.
In October, my dad was diagnosed with Stage II Prostate Cancer. For the past eight weeks, he has been going to radiation 5 days a week. Today though, he got to ring his bell. I’m feeling thankful, and lucky. (Of course blessed too, but some days, blessed is a word that is too often over used.) I don’t believe in luck. I believe in the power of God, and His purposes and the ways in which they help us grow. But today, we are lucky. “Lucky” as we’re rewarded by Him with good fortune. Were we unlucky to have an unfortunate diagnosis? Nope- because in it we’ve found the real blessings….and real faith.
When I moved home in October, we had no idea that “this” was on the horizon. We had no idea that the biggest scare of our lives was on it’s way into our family. But what we did know was that this was another chance to enjoy the luck that we find through each other:
The “luck” of being thankful for one another. The “luck” of worshipping the coming of a King together. The “luck” to feel snowflakes fall “on our nose and eyelashes” through smiles and giggles and hugs and cold hands, warm hears… The “luck” that is revealed on a Valentines day card reminding you that you are an answer to prayer, a miracle. And the “luck” that propels us to trust in prayer for another miracle….
and here we are. He rang his bell… and we are so lucky to have this good fortune. And it’s done. We are faithful in a God who holds us close in His hands.
To have a little extra faith, a little more thanks for life, a lot more of an understanding of blessings, oh the power of prayer…
It all comes down to prayer. I don’t believe in luck, or the stars, or sister, even candles…. but what I do believe in is the power of God and the way people exercise faith through what we are able to see, what we are able to grasp. Just remember this though,
The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. (Hebrews 11:1-2, The Message)
Faith in my God. Not the candle, not the stars, not the “best wishes..” or the “good lucks.” Faith in God that overtakes the worry, the frustration, the fear… faith in the support of our brothers and sisters… it lives here: in my heart, in my families hearts and though we can’t see it, it’s there. In all our good fortune, our “luck” it’s there.
So here: let me be faithful about this. I am surrounded by a great community that are praying for me daily that the end of this roller coaster is near. “Have you heard yet?” “When will you hear?” “Anything?” “Have you received your letter from Mason yet?” “Now Love, give me an update on Mason…” “Any word on grad school yet?”
Oh you make me that much more faithful in this church of believers that lift up the ones we love in hope of “luck,” in realizations of blessings, in faith of what we cannot see but in confidence of what we hope know.
I have not been nervous until about an hour ago. It’s all in God’s hands, there is nothing else I can do… but oh I don’t want to take another detour along this road. I have confidence that this is where I am supposed to be. I have faith that God is in control. But the fear is fighting faith, the peace is starting to fade. The “luck,” the good fortune still mine. The “blessings”….. come my way. again. It makes me selfish, but sure. And the human part of me begs for more of You…stay by my side.
I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side…
Chris Tomlin, Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies)
Darlings, soon. Soon we will know. And the good fortune of the journey will continue.
I don’t have a special way to end this, but search deep within my heart to know the thanks….thanks.
nic
