Look at me–out to the stars…

I woke up at 9:03 this morning.  Promptly rolled over with my eyes still closed, and smiled.  It was like The Olms we’re playing in the background.  My feet started moving and my hips started swaying (yes, as I still laid there in bed), shoulders started rocking…and there I went, up to the stars…

Like…these words resounded as my morning breath teeth radiated that plaquey, not brushed yet, white, and I just danced all over this:

Look at you now, look at you now, look at you go out to the stars…

Oh that first breath of this morning felt so good… so good that I kicked off my covers and started it with a shot of tequila.  Yes.  at 9:09 in the morning.  By myself.  Beware my friends that have stuck with me and know the deep dark secrets of that day…. you know me and my symbolic rituals- don’t worry this won’t happen every year…

Don’t judge.  Look… look at me now.

Exactly one year ago today, I was laying nearly passed out in my shower (a most humiliating look I’m sure).  Exactly one year ago today, I’m pretty sure I drank AT LEAST 700mL of Cuervo Gold (that’s tequila… that’s a lot of tequila…and it wasn’t even good tequila).

if you don’t believe me, here’s the bottle–and it’s the closest thing to proof I feel like I should include some pun about tequila and it’s 40% “proof..” but…that’s all you get..literally, I’ve got nothing…

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And there I laid, one year ago today, as I heard the voice of my life changer calling my name, “Nicole…?” And wrapped in a towel he carried me to my bed where I cried some nasty smelling vomit breath tears over my life- the life I left behind and the life that I was yet to know.  Let me tell you something friends, those tears were some of the best I’ve ever cried, and Lord knows I’ve cried a lot, right, Jus? 

In those moments, (at least the ones I can remember), I had my wake up call–the one that was calling with this life.  I’m so glad I answered to hear the slow talking, in His timing, voice on the other end…

“Hello, You.  Let me show you something…”

Here’s my smile (which has since been smiled a million times over again!) all because of You.

Here’s me, me.  So beautiful and Yours.

Here’s three of my “carry me through” loves.  Your Spirit always moving so strongly through them into me–giving me purpose, helping me know the most perfect kind of love…

Oh my life and every bit of you in it, every bit of Him…I absolutely love, deeper than your hearts might know.  With this big heart screaming, just hear me already, and LOVE SO DEEPLY– into the stars, into the goodness of redemption, the goodness of “intoxicating” richness, a life that feels rather invigorating…the bumps are worth it, so so worth it.  And here we are…

Wanna feel it, wanna feel it too…?

Clink your glass with me in this celebratory, “Hells-to-the-yes!”

Lift up your hearts…

We’re here, going out to the stars.

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shout out time: I have two of the most amazing confidant type-ish loves that I know as beautiful friends…Jenn *you make me laugh the gut kinds, when your belly aches and you can’t help but lose yourself in the company of greatness.  and Jus *because you love just like I do.  Thanks for spending tonight with me making me love life so much more because you’re in it.