Sometimes (i.e. this time) I sit in front of Mac and I stare. I have a “few” things going through my head that I should need to do but instead I sit. And I stare. Because I’m bored and would really rather like to enjoy it, the boredom.
I’m bored. No really, so bored. Like, the kind that is so bad a game of sudoku, words, and tetris won’t come close to curing. Bored. Like enough to sit and read until I remember that I don’t really like reading unless it’s the Carebears, Charlotte’s Web, & Jack and Annie go to Camelot for Christmas to my buddies. Side note: I have now started Mocking Jay 3 times. THREE TIMES! I have a shelf full of other books that I’ve read…. ahem…the beginning of and never finished. I have a stack next to my reading nook that I plan to get to…at some point in my life. And…I just bought another. Two. But no, I can’t read. No, not when I’m bored………..of course not. No, not when I actually have the time to….of course not!
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I don’t think I’ve written about it before, though many of you know I have been seeing a therapist since July when I decided to retake control of my life after wild and scattered soul searching and heal. My dad will probably read this and think to himself “I really wish you would stop wasting your money on that…” and my mom will read this and say “don’t be so quick to share everything…” To which I say–my life is in order and progressing because of therapy…and God (Sunday school answer). Here’s the best way it is. Oh, and let me also add that when the new year began I decided not to write about the “bad year”…ever. But this is too good not to at least reference it. Let me also add that when I started therapy I was so overwhelmed in every aspect of my life, filled with anxiety of the “what’s next” questions and the “how to’s” and the “what ifs” and a lot of “crap, I’m scared…” answers.
In one of our first “meetings” Miki <– (that’s his name) said these words. “Bored is a good thing. Work on getting ‘there’. That’s when you’ve done everything you can in that moment, and you’re just waiting contently. It’s not bad–that’s a misconception.” Guess what!? In the words of Lloyd Christmas, “we’re there!” Praise the Lord….PRAISE HIM!
I started doing this “to-do” list. It’s rather special (notes and printables below). I mean, completely unique from your to-do lists. ENTIRELY…. NOT! I started it in December so that by now, today, I’d be so into it that by next week, when school starts, it will be just another thing on my list. And while some mornings I wake up completely overwhelmed, most nights I go to sleep completely anxiety free. Last Friday and Saturday and Sunday and Monday and Tuesday… you get it have been those “most nights.” and praise the Lord! …again.
I think I was fourteen the last time I uttered the words, “Mom, I’m bored.” I got to say them for the first time in twelve years last Friday…and again tonight. YES! My, my, my, I’m there. It’s so surprising that I actually forgot what real contentment feels like, like I just cleaned my reading glasses, like my sheets are clean and the bed is made and I just want to lay on it, like the smooth sand right after a wave that washes away the ugly version of your footprint, like the first breath coming out of water when you thought you were about to drown. Do you get it yet…I figured maybe you had forgotten too.. 🙂
Here’s what I’ve been reminded of. Disappointment and discontentment are not the same thing. Disappointment is a part of life…definitely was a part of mine last year and it just happens. But discontentment is more because of me, I let it happen. I sought for more until I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned to being “me-focused” instead of being “God-focused.” I chose not to wait on him and His timing just because I was disappointed in it. WRONG! WRONG! Big fat ‘F’ in catering to my spiritual relationship at that point…and I hate getting anything less than an ‘A’. Right–back on topic. Stay with it Nic!
In being discontent, I missed out of the present moments when God was pushing His way into my life. The me, ME, I preferred pushing Him out… But He was actively pursuing me, shuffling things around way around, pushing me to make His work in me perfect. And I missed out on that perfection, until now… because instead of being disappointed, I am bored! He’s been so deeply invested in me that during the waiting (i.e. my disappointment), that’s where the best investment took place. Praise God…. yes, again.
Love this. SO MUCH!
Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.”
Isaiah 64:4
I have a new definition for boredom. I learned it at church in a series called “Rescuing Ambition“. Too bad I didn’t feel the Spirit’s movement then, but so glad I feel it now! Ahh Nic! Stay focused!!
Definition of boredom: hungry for more, content with less. Thank you Rod Stafford.
Thank you to-do list. So back to that. Promise it all ties in. PROMISE.
I sat in my chair/my nook. And I looked around my room with nothing to do. Seriously, nothing. Every to do was checked off. Every chore completed. Every piece of clothing folded neatly and put away (in case you forgot, I have 240+ items). In all honesty, skip over this part Dad, I had an urge to move, because things were too still. I sat with this realization of being done for now. I was suddenly very aware that this is my home for the next two years, and I really wanted to move again. I felt the hunger for more. Then I realized what I was thinking and came back down to earth. I’m trying to stay away from 20th move before 30 (let’s add that goal to the list). Instead, I chose to be content (kind of) with the “all of the above” nook, and the tiny pocket of space that my bed fits in, the four homes of the Shoe family…it’s less than my two bedroom apartment with the Farmers Market red, and comfy make-out couch, and Michigan Avenue home office, and 21st century bathroom, and walk in closet (can’t forget that!). IT’S A LOT LESS. But that’s okay because with less, BECAUSE OF LESS, I am able to feed this hunger for more. I want to I have my life back. I’m on my way to changing lives again. And in the waiting and journey there, I’m no longer disappointed. God’s doing the perfect thing in me now. In this waiting, He’s still invested. How could I, why would I be disappointed? I’m bored. Praise the Lord.
MERCY!
no go, be inspired.
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This is by far the coolest app I have ever, EVER used for productivity. Spendy, but worth it! It’s called Things. I have it linked on my four apple devices (did you know yet that I am an apple-junkie?!). Macbook, iMac, iPad, and iPhone. Each “check” syncs to every device. IT’S SERIOUSLY GENIUS! It even works with Siri reminders. Genius I tell you! If you like crossing things off with a pen or don’t want to spend the money, you don’t need the app (unless you want to go hardcore like me and be bored). Read through my notes and then download the printable. Fill in accordingly–and feel free to copy my daily schedules!
It looks like this:
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I love that I can separate by category and organize repeating events and due dates. You can even create projects, i.e. GMU application with specific to-dos.
My categories include: Blog, 30 Day Organization Bootcamp (another post another day), Home, Work (BYP), Volunteering (FCC).
My repeating events are the standard unlikeable chores: Hold on to these notes..and don’t judge my cleaning schedule.
- Daily: fold/hang/hamper clothes (because with so many, it really is a daily task), pick out tomorrows clothes (saves at least 20 minutes every morning–and I need that when I am at work by 6:30 a.m.), even medicine reminders, yoga, make bed (for the record, my bed has now been made 27 days straight)!
- Every 3 Days: clorox bathroom counter (you can include kitchen too), 45 minute clean-up where needed (bedroom, office, kitchen, etc) This one has helped to keep my “area” clean since December, #soproud
- Weekly: Spread out the chores so that you’re not overwhelmed! Sunday-print sticker charts (a work thing), Monday-Volunteer work (a reminder to text my small group girls, review curriculum, etc.), Review weekly projects, goals, and areas, dishes (mom, dad, and I split these. don’t go thinking they only get done twice a week–although sometimes true). Tuesday- <fill in what’s needed>, Wednesday- Photo journal entries (another post another day). Thursday- volunteer work, dishes. Friday-laundry. Saturday- clean desk, photo journal entries, volunteer work.
- Bi-Weekly (I intertwine these so that they rotate with each other i.e. A weeks, B weeks): Sunday-A-clean car (because often mine becomes a dump of my life), Tuesday-B- dust, Wednesday-A-vaccum, Thursday-B-mirrors & toilet.
Setting up the list is a little time consuming but stick with it. After a week, I promise, you’ll notice a difference. Just try!
Begin with the daily, weekly, and bi-weekly tasks. Here are the cheat sheets:
Next, sit down and think through your projects. (Keep this download handy!)
Lastly, transfer to your to-do list. This is the MASTER sheet. You’ll use this every week. I suggest printing out 4 and working through the month. This will help you with project due dates and letting you know what is coming up. Be sure to fill in your tasks that come every other day, or every three days, etc. There wasn’t a cheat sheet for those.
email with questions! ps. how pinteresty am I?!
