I feel like writing. I feel like writing for weeks and weeks. I feel like I have months and months to record– of love and aches and perseverance and pride and fear and friendship and support and oh so much more.
I feel like writing because it’s me. And I feel like writing with no idea where to start, except to where He leads. I feel like throwing out the keyboard and grabbing my pen and red journal that has thousands of heartfelt words prayers and just going nuts as I sit and reflect on God’s movement. But then I realize that my fingers are at home here; the place I’ve missed so much these last couple of months. And so I sit here. With some ice cold kombucha and my legs are crossed, my heart is opened and here. i. go.
He chose love. So I’m starting today with Love. It’s what I do. and to be quite honest, I love to love. My cousin commented on a picture I posted to Facebook yesterday…. she said, “so sweet to be loved!!” Cousin, yes it is, YES it is. But friends, I’ve learned that loving is sweeter. Actually, I learned that a long time ago. I’m just relearning it now.
The sweetness, it comes simply once the choice is made–the choice to love. And it isn’t always easy… but in the relearning of the greatness of love, I find one amazing Truth and with it the decision more doable, more willingly doable. Who am I, to be Loved this way, and who is he? who is she? But we are… we don’t have to be, but He chose to Love. So I choose to love too. Because who am I to decide worthiness to love or not to love. If we’re worthy of His Love, my sweet, sweet darlings, then I choose to love you again and again and again and THAT is my choice, my very best choice. I will choose to love you forever…
Because…………You are worthy. Cling to it because you are so worthy of it. And when you can’t feel His, feel mine.
Cling to it, because it’s a forever thing that gets me through the hard days when my patience runs thin and the self doubt creeps up and the emotions bring desires that test faith. There Love is holding my faith…slowing down the days when life is too busy for deep breaths, reminding me that patience is bringing Him glory and will deliver His glory… And Love, it holds you tightly when you want to run with goodness so that you can take in every moment of His glory…and my desire of love is to give, just to give. My desire is to be loved, yes because it is so sweet, but because without it, I am nothing. So, maybe just choose to love me too, again, sweet Love, choose me too.
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There’s this song I keep listening too, not because I’m having a hard time holding onto Love but because it’s fun holding onto love.
So, cling to me
And I will be forever
And I will heal
And you will feel much betterYou’ll feel much better
I have waited long
But never given up
I have waited on you
But never on love
Jennifer Knapp, “On Love”
