smile

There’s this chair.  It’s red, short, and not very comfortable.  But it’s mine…or it used to be mine.  Well, no, it’s the church’s and I just liked sitting in it.  So yesterday, I went to my old office because I wanted to sit in my chair.  I talked with two of my moms, my office moms.  I walked in, they came to me, I cried, they hugged.  It was just what I needed.

Lately, I’ve been thinking this was a mistake.  Yet in my heart, in my head, I believe, it totally wasn’t.  But that’s why I needed to go to my chair.  This is what I heard, “you didn’t make a mistake, you made a choice.”  And I’m getting ready to make another choice, a big choice, a huge decision….keep reading…

I’ve said it before, I miss my kids like crazy but, I’ve finally come to terms with being out of their lives.  Now I miss the security.  The reason to get up in the morning.  The daily routine.  And get ready, get ready…the meetings that spelled out productivity.  I miss being on a team that set and met goals.  Mostly and honestly thought, I think I miss the financial security.  Hence, no, this was not a mistake.  It’s an opportunity.

As I talked with my moms, I realized, there’s no reason why I can’t wake up every morning and set a newroutine and a different routine than what I’m used to (and continue trying the daily goals).  The past few days, when I wake up, the first thing I do is focus on my writing.

And let me say this about that: I have no idea if this is productive blog or not, but I do hope that it reaches even one life.  Just one, so that this one person can see faith through trials still conquers,(even if it hasn’t for me yet—keep reading, and have faithit will (maybe not through our plans, but for sure by God’s plans)

Back on topic, It’s time to set the ultimate goal, not just the “shower and brush your teeth goal.”  Let me tell you what goal I am setting:

I want to start my own photography business by the time I am 30. That’s 1565 days away, time to get started!  Let me rephrase that, I WILL start my own photography business by August 12, 2016. Some of my friends may recall me talking about how I am so excited to turn thirty.  I’ve decided that this is why.  I just didn’t know it yet…

I’ve finally heard something from God.  THIS is what I want to do, this is what HE wants me to do, for me.  And because of that, it’s not just the something I want to do to gain security.  It’s something that I need to do.  It’s the something that will give me the best security (because it came from Him, duh!).  It’s something I love, something that gasp I’m passionate about.  That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I’ve found my passion again!  I’ve found passion again.  It was playing hide and seek, but I FOUND IT…..

I don’t think many people here know the “photographer” in me.  She’s kind of quiet, but when she smiles, she’s loud and outrageous!  Let me introduce you to the girl who owns seven cameras.  Her name is Nicole Marie, and she loves to smile.  What she loves even more is making others smile, even on her worst day.  And it’s time to let her shine.

I’m going to be spending the next few days and weeks uploading some of my very first “sessions” from over the years (oh look at me already using pro-photographer like words “sessions” …ahhhh) onto a semi-new page of beholding you, the PHOTOGRAPHY page (real creative title, I know—but it’s clear and concise).  And…for those who want to be featured on the page, contact me!  Seriously!  Help me get started, help me run free with passion.  Let me make you smile.

let's behold

@nicolebeholds

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@nicolebeholds